Help a friend escape domestic violence

Avon and British non-profit Refuge are joining together to launch an awareness drive for domestic violence. An astonishing one in four women will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime. “Sadly, we all probably know someone this is happening to right now,” explains the narrator in their Youtube video campaign.

Abusive situations are often difficult to get out of since one of the first steps of abuse is to break down the victim’s independence and self-esteem. Support from friends and loved ones can be the ticket to pulling a woman out of a violent relationship. Unfortunately, without the right information you may not pick up on the signs of domestic violence and unknowingly say things that actually discourage her from seeking help.

This beautiful “choose your own adventure”-style video series guides you through how to respond to and support a friend who may be reaching out from such a situation. Scroll below for the cheat sheet. Please watch and share! Continue reading ‘Help a friend escape domestic violence’

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How to stay in love: secrets from Britain’s longest married couples

Who is the ultimate example of how to stay in love and cultivate a healthy marriage for a lifetime? Those who have actually done it! Karam and Katari Chand just celebrated their 87th wedding anniversary, making them Britain’s oldest married couple. The two have been through a lot together and still claim they are deeply in love. They shared their insights on how to stay in love with an interviewer from British dating website Zoosk. Here are a few gems of wisdom from the couple: Continue reading ‘How to stay in love: secrets from Britain’s longest married couples’

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Communication problems in relationships may signal this disorder

Communication problems in relationships are no new thing. Every couple has difficulty discussing highly emotional topics. And every one of us has bad communication habits such as using “you” statements or “but”, defensiveness, arguing, and nagging. At the same time, according to a new study from the University of Missouri, your spouse’s difficulty talking about his or others feelings could be a clinical condition.

Alexithymia is a newly recognized personality trait that refers to an inability to describe, understand and communicate emotions. Individuals with the condition also have difficulty associating their feelings with the physical signs of emotional arousal, i.e. sweaty palms for excitement or heat flush for anger. Continue reading ‘Communication problems in relationships may signal this disorder’

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Does abstinence or delayed first sex benefit relationships?

Abstinence and pro-marriage education claims that loose sexual relationship early in life will negatively impact later relationships. Aside from the moral or religious issue of early sex, is this true? And if it is, then why? Whether inside or outside marriage, previous studies have shown those who have sex at younger ages tend to have more extra-marital pregnancies, as well as earlier marriages with more divorces. Psychologist Dr. Paige Harden of the University of Texas at Austin used data from the Child and Adolescent Longitudinal Study to compare age of first sex with how their romantic relationships worked out later in life. Continue reading ‘Does abstinence or delayed first sex benefit relationships?’

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Funny wedding quotes

Funny wedding quotes are great for spicing up wedding toasts, speeches, vows or cards. In addition to making us laugh, they can point out the importance of marriage skills such as communication and balancing individual desires with your spouse’s needs. Watch out for “funny” wedding quotes that are mean spirited. Many quotes use humor to spread nasty beliefs about marriage, and when we repeat them we can reinforce the faulty logic behind them. If we keep referring to marriage as a ball-and-chain, our expectations will help make it so. Continue reading ‘Funny wedding quotes’

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A brief history of marriage

The history of marriage is as old as human civilization, and just as complicated. Marriage as we know and debate it today is vastly different from marriages throughout history, involving different agreements and different purposes.

1. Tribal alliances

Early tribal communities in northern Europe and elsewhere had fewer power imbalances among their members than later societies. While there were leaders, warriors, priests, and other distinctions, the tribes were relatively egalitarian-that is, before land ownership and agriculture allowed some members to accumulate more wealth than others. In those days, marriages were either by choice within the tribe, or between tribes as a way of affirming friendly alliances, says Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage. “You established peaceful relationships, trading relationships, mutual obligations with others by marrying them,” she writes.

But this all changed with the differentiation of wealth. Continue reading ‘A brief history of marriage’

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The question of non monogamy

For thousands of years marriage has implied monogamy. In fact, marriage developed because monogamy was crucial to confirm paternity and establish lineage rights. In all but a few polygamous or polyandrous societies, non monogamy is not tolerated and often punished harshly. But how does the idea of sexual faithfulness to one person play into modern and/or non-traditional and non-religious marriages?

Non monogamy is, by definition, not being romantically exclusive to one partner. It may also be referred to as an open relationship. Non monogamy includes all sorts of arrangements from allowing kissing, flirting or non-sexual dating, to one night stands, to full-blown outside relationships, to polyandry (a relationship between more than two partners). Non-monogamy groups claim their arrangement makes everyone happier, reflects more realistic expectations about marriage, and can prevent divorce. Pro-monogamy groups argue that relaxed standards of fidelity are exactly what are causing divorce and only lead to broken hearts. Both sides have statistics and studies to back their cases. Continue reading ‘The question of non monogamy’

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Confessions of a jealous wife

Jessica and Adam have been married for five years and have no children. They love to go out to concerts, clubs and parties. Most of the time they go out together, but sometimes they have nights where they spend time apart. Jess is fine with that and doesn’t consider herself a jealous wife. Jess loves dressing up to go out to parties. She loves how confident she feels when she’s all done up, and how sexy her husband finds her. She also loves the admiring stares she gets from other men. She is naturally very outgoing and enjoys flirting. She’s never cheated on anyone, and loves Adam. At the same time, she likes to make him a little jealous. “It reminds him of how lucky he is to have me,” she thinks.

Adam is normally more reserved than Jess. Last night they went to a house party together and Adam ran into an old friend from high school, Shauna, who was back in town for the week. Jess had never heard Adam mention Shauna before-in fact, he never really talked about that time of his life. Adam introduced them and then spent the rest of the evening talking to Shauna. Jess hung out with some other people at the party, but couldn’t help watching Dave and Shauna the whole night. In the car on the way back home, Adam was in a great mood, but Jess kept quiet. Continue reading ‘Confessions of a jealous wife’

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What do your marriage vows say about you

Marriage vows are an important part of the wedding ceremony. While they aren’t verbatim a contract, they set the tone for what you want to get out of and are willing to give to your marriage. Your vows should reflect who you and your spouse are as a couple, and individually. With the popularity of non-traditional ceremonies rising (it seems like everyone is trying to one-up each other with originality!) it may seem stressful planning your vows.

Take a deep breath and check out these recommendations. Continue reading ‘What do your marriage vows say about you’

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4 areas of communication breakdown in the presidential debate

Watching the 2nd presidential debate, I thought both candidates made some great points and showed they are both good public speakers and smart men. At the same time, there were some major points of communication breakdown going on during the debate, from rude interruptions other to outright insults. While this type of attacking makes more sense considering the debaters are opponents, their pitfalls are a good example of what not to do when when you communicate with your spouse. Continue reading ’4 areas of communication breakdown in the presidential debate’

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